{"id":1257,"date":"2016-02-14T18:49:00","date_gmt":"2016-02-14T18:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/2016\/02\/14\/valentine-online-valonline\/"},"modified":"2016-02-14T18:49:00","modified_gmt":"2016-02-14T18:49:00","slug":"valentine-online-valonline","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/valentine-online-valonline\/","title":{"rendered":"VALENTINE + ONLINE = VALONLINE"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\n…So am chatting with a friend and she was like:<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“My DATE hasn’t arrived. Am still waiting for him”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“Where did he go to and why would he keep you waiting on such a beautiful day?” <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“Well, I haven’t got the slightest idea where he would be”.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nI asked her to call but she said the lines she tried were not connecting. I was mad at this guy who was keeping a pretty lady waiting.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nAngrily, I asked in Pidgin English: “Who be this guy sef!??”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n<\/a>
\n<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n” I don’t know ooo. I just ordered a DATE.” <\/u1:p><\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n“You what?!”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“You know… Same way you order a phone”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/a><\/div>\n
\n“What!!?”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“Yea”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“That’s Funny.” “You order DATE online?!” “na phone?” I asked in Pidgin English.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\nShe said she chose to have an e-date because she didn’t trust the guys around. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“They could be fake, you know?”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nWell, she said it was KONGA.com o! But her worries are that they may not deliver today.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“The problem is if they deliver tomorrow, chicken go don FINISH”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“So why didn’t  you use Jumia?”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n“Ah! Jumia whey dey fall person hand every time?! I don stop to dey trust those guys oo”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nI sympathized with her and ask her to call CUSTOMER CARE to find out if they had shipped her date….<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nHAPPY VALENTINE PEEPS!!<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\nOR<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
\nHAPPY VAL-ONLINE!!<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

…So am chatting with a friend and she was like: “My DATE hasn’t arrived. Am still waiting for him” “Where did he go to and why would he keep you waiting on such a beautiful day?”  “Well, I haven’t got the slightest idea where he would be”. I asked her to call but she said […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_gspb_post_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles"],"blocksy_meta":[],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightmode.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}